Friday, May 13, 2011

Screwing, Backbends and Sunshine

Marathon training day 5 - Yogilates

Little Ms. Freakin' Sunshine in Tree pose.

Little Ms. Pucker Lips in some sort of awkward prayer pose.
Yogilates felt really good since we were both super sore from Jillian on Thursday.  You can read about how she tortured us here.  My thighs and butt HURT!

I don't know what this is called.  It looks super easy, but it's not.  Especially when your butt hurts!  

Um, yeah.  That yellow shirt really made her perky and bendy this morning.
So, we had absolutely NO food in our house.  I'm also starting my marathon healthy eating plan on Monday.  I hit up Tom Thumb after work.

Priorities:  A couple of bottles of wine.
I was starving, so I made a meal out of the sample sushi they had.  What the heck?  Tom Thumb is getting all swank with sushi samples.  I likey!  Now if they can get some sample wine going on I might stop their daily on my way home from work.

Then I got super, duper excited that they had the Udi's Gluten Free Bagels.  I can't wait to try them.
Perhaps I found a few things.
We will no longer be able to send the kids to college, but momma will look good crossing the finish line in Chicago.  You have to have your priorities.

Ugh, now I have to put all this crap away.
Here is the cold goods.....

....and the uncold goods....
....and the veggies & fruit that stay out on the counter.
What do you mean wine is not a fruit?  It derives from grapes.  Duh.

By the time I put away this mountain of groceries I was starving.....and thirsty.....and perhaps a little delirious.

I went to open the wine and realized I had the can opener.
So I took a picture.  Then I got the brilliant idea to show you lucky readers how to successfully open a bottle of wine with your teeth.

Okay, maybe not.
 How about a waiter's corkscrew?

Step 1:  Buy some kickbutt wine like Red Guitar.
Step 2:  Insert corkscrew into the center of the cork.

Step 3:  Twist corkscrew down until the first hinge sits on the side of the bottle.

Step 4:  Pull up the handle until the second hinge sets on the side of the bottle.
Step 5:  Pull hinge until cork comes out of the bottle.
Step 6:  Pour yourself a glass and enjoy.  Cheers!
You can trust me.  I'm a professional.

I've had lots of practice.
This was dinner.  A heaping pile of veggies, cheese and rice crackers.  Oh yes, and a container of hummus & wine.  Ignore the apples, those were not consumed.
While up loading pictures for this post from my phone I found this.

Apparently Audrie takes after her mother....entertaining herself with self portraits with the CamWow app.
I'm off to convince my son he is not about to die.  He licked a flower, why I have no idea, and now he thinks it was poisonous and he is about to die.  10 year old drama.  Wine, oh how I need thee!


  1. What about cutting/removing the foil? Notice the pictures of the kitchen and Angie in it.

  2. This whole post cracks me up. That is one MAJOR shopping trip!!

  3. Holly molly girl! That's the amount of food I buy quarterly. The rest I get at the races! Bahahahaha

  4. Holy crap, look at the price of that Ezekial bread! Now I remember why I stopped shopping at Tom Thumb. Do you have a Sprout's Farmer Market in your area? Love that place.