Friday, June 10, 2011

Things You Never Want to Hear Your Man Say

Marathon Training Week 5 - Day 5

Today the plan was to do a 20 minute Jillian Michaels 'Total Body Shred' workout, and then finish up with some yogilates.

Me letting Jillian know who's boss!
Did you notice our fancy setup?  Laptop on the back patio by the pool.  Today's breeze was marvelous.  And the wind was blowing mist from the fountain on us and it felt oh so good!

Jillian will not defeat me!
We survived, but our arms and legs are toast.  We will definitely be moving our long run to Sunday.  I have got to rearrange the schedule so we are not doing Jillian two days in a row.

Yesterday I got this in the mail:

It's a Luna bar and headband, with a card that says congrats for finishing the Heels and Hills race.
That was the half we ran back on May 1.  Kinda of a fun surprise to get in the mail. 

So I'm rocking my headband while sippin' coffee and blogging this morning.
Confession:  I never had any wine for 'Whine and Wine Wednesday', so last night I made up for it.

The husband tells me this is an Italian IGT..."huh?"  It was good whatever it was!
If you have been following my blog for at least five minutes you know I am married to quite the character.  At least five times a day he has me saying "What the heck?"  Anyway, those WTH moments have led to this post.

Things You Never Want to Hear Your Man Say

Just know that I couldn't make this crap up.  Why don't you bend over and let me shove this perfume bottle where the sun don't shine.

Well, maybe he didn't actually say this....but are words really needed when you have photo evidence?
He was in such a panic on our wedding day he did not know his name or mine.  He didn't really forget my name, but I was concerned he was about to pass out at any moment.

That tongue really is scary, and I'm about to take a lesson from Cheri and punch you in the face.

Lets actually was more like..."compared to Randee, your legs start out really thick at the top."....Thanks butt wipe, like I never noticed that about myself before.

And you should really get your ass waxed.

In reality he had me dress up in this steampunk garb for Duane's birthday.  However, MANY other times those words have came out of his mouth.

Once again, are words really needed with such proof?

I will use this here finishers medal to whip your back off.
 What is something your man says that makes you want to give him a swift kick in the butt?

Happy Friday!


  1. In the time it took you to compose this, you could have composed me one helluva sammich.

  2. "Your not as puffed up and swollen as you were last time." What he said just after the birth of our second child.

  3. "You're a real woman now" after having our second child with no pain meds. (not by choice mind you..)

  4. In response to "do I look fat?" my old man says, "well, maybe just a little thick!" WTF!

  5. Haha, I love this post! They are too funny. Hmm...when hubs says "Since you started running your boobs are a lot smaller". Thanks. As if I don't notice their magic disappearing act.

  6. LOVE the headband. Love it. My hubby is pretty good about not saying stupid stuff to me, but he's pretty mean to my friends. They love it!

  7. @Alecia - shall I punch Brad in the face the next time I see him just for that comment?

  8. @Tara - well you are more woman than me for doing unmedicated childbirth...but he still deserves a good slappin' for saying it out loud!

  9. @Vanessa - Yeah, I know that one all too well!

  10. @Michelle - Yeah, Doug likes to harass me and my friends!