Tuesday, September 13, 2011

Are you the one with the corn cob?

Bitch on wheels.  That's how I feel.  Work.  Taxi.  Work.  Taxi.  Repeat.

Taxi route number 1902 of the day was to take Trent to get his cast removed.
The nurse gave him a wet wipe to get three weeks worth of nasty off of his leg.
He is still on crutches for a couple of more weeks until he gets full strength and mobility back in his leg.

In other news.....

No workout AGAIN.  Well, unless you count Trent's physical therapy exercises I did with him.  This is probably the reason I am a less than pleasant human today.

Okay, so today I will share with you a few LIFE LESSONS I have learned in the past week.  Sit back, these are revolutionary.

1.  Never, EVER go to Costco after a wine tasting.  It is a proven fact that you will spend your entire life savings if you should choose to do so.  Prosciutto and mozzarella, of course.  Eighteen containers of hummus, a must have.  How could I ever live without a 1,000,000 pack of paper plates?  Mouthwash.  Shampoo.  And let's not forget a freezer that I can hardly close at the moment. 

2.  Never, EVER go to said wine tasting the day before you run 20 miles.  Even if you go and spend a gazillion dollars at Costco, you will be so busy putting away all the goods you will not eat properly.  Also, you may be peeing non stop from all the wine, but this is not adequate hydration for the upcoming run.  However, you will pass out and sleep like a baby.

3.  Never, EVER decide to run your one and only marathon when you have to train in the hottest Texas summer on record.  Here is a riveting news article about it if you have nothing better to do with your time.
It looks like things cool down again on Thursday, but today we hit 103 and broke the record for most days over 100.  How many you ask?  70!
4.  Never, EVER start an amazingly humorous, witty and all around amazing blog, and then take three weeks off.  Your followers will lose sleep worrying about your well being and obsess over why you have destroyed the best part of their day and their only reason to get out of bed every morning.

5.  ALWAYS take everything you read on this...and any...blog with a grain of salt.  People who "really" know me, realize my tongue in cheek humor.  Those people with a corn cob up their ass gasp in horror as they read each post...religiously.  I'm me.  You're you.  Perhaps we're different.  Perhaps you need to dig that corn cob out and loosen up and relax.

Alrighty then.  My mood has improved just writing this blog.  Or perhaps it's the glass of vino.  Who knows.  Either way, get your self ready for Whine and Wine Wednesday tomorrow!  I'll be here.  Will you?


  1. Paper towels?! Angela!

    Ooh! Did you get a bitchy anonymous comment?! You're moving way up in the blog world. I'm so jealous. I will now be revisiting all of your past posts to find the antagonist.

  2. Here's another rule for you: never, ever go to CostCo in November. It's like a zoo up in there at that time. Just stay away; save yourself!

  3. I, like Alecia, now feel completely compelled to go back in search of Mr. or Ms. Corn Cob...

    But even if I don't find said person --- YOU TELL 'EM! :)

  4. I LOVE your blog!!!! And this post especially, I almost peed myself laughing about pulling out the corn on the cob!!!! You have a fan in me -- new mommy and fellow jogger!

  5. LOL - did someone leave you a mean comment?

    I hear you on the heat. It is BRUTAL. At least the marathon can ONLY be better, right?